Keep going. - justrefa

Recently, I feel so nothing. What I did is only such mistakes. Or it even worse when I did really nothing. I took every day off like I am being a job-free person, even though I had a lot things to do. Well, I think it is wrong to tell someone my actual feelings. Someone said that we just need to tell God when we feel too low, but express it outside when we are up high. Therefore, what I'm going to talk now is not about my sad life. This is about how my feeling is when it comes to overcoming some constraints.

At first, I feel so left behind than everyone I knew. My friends who we came together at our very first step in this campus, have walked far in their own way. They had conference, exchange, thesis to be printed out, research seminar, or even ready to graduate, or so. I feel that it won't work at all. I feel I am going to fail. I'm going to give up soon. Even worse, I think I had no dream in my mind. I just walk through this far but no dream to be reached. It's a big big disaster. At this rate, I was so stressful and had no idea how to go out of it.

Later, at the time I typed this article, I'm still down.

But then, I tried hard to look for the reason that I still survive here. How on earth I could defend the same situation when I was in undergraduate? This is the same me, but well, actually in different moment there will be different me. That's it! I need me in the past. I need that spirit of believing herself that she could bear the problems. She could complete the assignments. She could finish her study. I need me from the past that had a big dream to continue her study and become a master. And now when she reached that dream, becoming a master student then she faced another big problem again, she need to have another dream. My past self has a great willingness to do something good. She knows people well, she treats everyone kindly. She is humble and has a cheerful personality. She's not extra-introvert like now. ~well, that's a past. There is always a new page in people's life, and so do I. This time, I realize that I just need to do what I can do now. A different age, different case.

Let's make it clear what I'd like to point out. I just wanna say to myself. That life offers you a lot of choices. Either you want to give up or try harder, that depend on you. depend on me, in this case. I saw people in a successful life. I never watch their process in detail, neither people understand my process. So how can I bothered people's thought about me? what the hell they talk about me, Just keep going. They didn't pay your school fee along 17 years, they didn't buy you food in whole your life. They didn't always give you happiness. the pain just will be a pain if you refuse to fix it. The people's bad thought will be just like that if yo don't want to change yourself. You just can move on and show *what!? I don't think it's needed*

keep going. that's the only big point that I want to highlight and shout deeply to myself. KEEP GOING. no matters people think of you, no matters how poor you are in many ways. no matter how difficult the circumstance will be. just keep going. These too, will pass anyway. You know, you actually have ever found this situation or even worse, but you faced that well until you could smile now. It means that there will be solution for each problem. Just keep going. *Ah, I wanna write it hundred times or more*

Life also still keeps going. Don't stop anyway. Don't be stuck at a thing. Just keep going, don't bother with the clock, It'll will run no matter how you are, so ignore things and just keep going.

With love,
Me