 |
| courtesy |
This Wednesday, I felt so gloomy and perfectly regretful at
the same time. Additionally, it seemed that I was too confused to do proper
things at that day. I didn't know what actually happened on myself until I did
everything wrong. Now, my feeling is I got myself down.
The night I came back
from Depok to Bogor, a street singer, young, brought only his old guitar.
Usually, I never cried on something like this. But somehow, when this guy
started singing…. Whoaaaa, felt like something tore my heart, deeply broken inside,
so hurt until I couldn’t put my tears down. Something like tears started to
come out from my eyes. I almost cried at very that moment.
I have a friend who is
very easily affected by anything until she cries. I often laugh at her because
her fragile heart, I said so. But oh my god, I really knew how she felt this
long, till she easily cries even when she just listens to the street singers.
That night, when I was just alone -no pals I knew beside-, rode angkot toward my
dorm, that young street singer actually just sang a common song which I often
listened before. It was came out from his song: “A child asked to his teacher, what kind of pray we should recite once
we want to be happy? Then here is the pray… Rabbana atiina fiddunya hasanah, wa
fil aakhirati hasanah waqinaa ‘adzabannaar” This is a perfectfully
multi-purpose pray for moslem. This pray means we wish for safety, peace,
goodness, and success either in this world or in the akhirah (afterlife). And
wish for kept away from the hell. This song made me realize that to be happy was that easy for moslem, because Allah is The Only Source of happiness. I felt disappointed
on myself just because too much thinking about the world itself. But I forgot
that I have Allah, The One Who Let me in the ease. So, no matter how dreadful
my day, and how bad I will be, later, I just need to recite this pray and leave
the rest of my effort to Allah. He will have better plan for me, indeed.
Suddenly, after I felt
wanna cry as loud as I want, still on that angkot, I realized that I had no
reason not to be happy. I knew that I will never be perfect. I will make
mistakes and new mistakes everday, on and on until I die. I realized that
anxiety is a dirty point that should be removed soon. I knew that now I am
facing the world which never there is something called PERFECTLY RIGHT. I knew that I’ve tried my best, the imperfect
thing is my another side who wanna teach me not to be so always-blaming-myself.
Now I knew…. Leave yesterday and became better tomorrow. Please, Refa.. keep up
the pace and do not distract yourself with the mistakes you did. Those are just
happened to be exist in the whole of your life. Just relax and keep doing good!
Sign up here with your email
ConversionConversion EmoticonEmoticon